Begin dating is not tough. It is natural that one person keeps some feelings for second person as soon as they find compatibility among each other. The wave of love starts flowing through their bodies, more they remain in touch of each other, more they feel secured and satisfied. Who knows how their relationship would have evolved after few years either best friends or time pass. Sometimes the situations come around that are beyond your control but you can save your relationship by knowing what is right to do. The type of relationship you make describes your marriage life that defines your family and growth of your kids, ultimately your inheritance.
A successful relationship includes few essential fundamentals or successful relationship tips which, if are correctly implemented, lead to a most contended life for a man and woman. Follow these fundamentals that make your relationship like a dream it is today.
- Act maturely
- Fight in manners
- Show your love
- Make financial plans together
- Behavior with your partner
Marriage is not a double way destination
Choose a single way
You may get to hear it a lot that marriage is double way street. Is it really? No, certainly not. It depends on you how you can reciprocate it. A marriage life includes several twists, turns, ups and downs, but never a straight path. The life may be different when you are 25 and is totally unlike at your 50s. If you think it is a double way, then you and your partner are not going in the same direction. To live happily, choose one way for both of you.
Find the reverse of double way life; you should walk hand in hand in the single way. You may try the things and, mistakes happen, it can help you in realizing the right choice that is perfect for the future of your family. Discuss what you want and find the way you want your family to flourish. Communicate regularly about if you and your partner are happy with the way your family is grooming and the direction you are stepping forward. To make a relationship successful, it is responsibility of both to lead your family correctly.
Staying far actually brings love birds together
Absence leads to grow more of love in you. When you come back home after heavy workout, you see someone is doing house chores, making food, handling kids and doing other things. Our time is very much planned for various schedules. However, still you need to manage time for each other. While staring at phone or your focus is not on the TV or other things. This time is actually dedicated to deep conversation. Listen to each other. Cherish the interactions. Being apart certainly keeps two people closer.
Set a goal
Goals are not only about career or money. After a long practice, it is easy for couples to ignore fundamentals that need to be on the top of the game. At some times, they need perspective of outsiders to help them find which fundamentals have been neglected. Many couples have the same problems. There are several reasons why relationships lose their footing, however usually couples who end up at odds with each other or finally choose marriage counselors in a desperate attempt to handle complications. As soon as the fundamentals of happy marriage are overlooked, a solid marriage or relationship is at the risk of going out of control.
To keep your relationship healthy, it is essential to be familiar with these important aspects of a relationship, it is not essentially a matter of learning the things however holding onto the wisdom.
Without the commitment there are only hopes but no plans. Promise allows your partner recognize that you are serious in the relationship; it is the base of trust to develop and relationship to grow. More importantly, commitment permits you to keep your relationship on priority at the required times.
Commitment is simple but very crucial, both of you should be truly dedicated to the relationship. Marriage may seem easy in the early state when both partners are new to each other and are giving their best. There is lots of mystery and you still need to know a lot about each other. With the passage of time you find that are you both fit for the long term? For a relationship to long last you may run the butterflies of unknown for a charming history but with firm commitment the feelings recede and it takes several efforts to maintain the relationship.
The impact of ups and downs that come in your life depend on your courage that how you handle them. When you think about a serious relationship, does the concept of courage come to your mind? Certainly not. As courage is generally related with wide acts of heroism. But to make a relationship healthy, you need to have enthusiasm to make your contribution.
You need to dedicate yourself to the relationship. Close relationships include risk and vulnerability and usually couples start to hide sentimentally from each other when their relationship is not going well. Courage is an act of doing something in fact facing risk and uncertainty. It was evident with a couple. For example a husband was somewhat suppressed with his wife because his life was only partying with his friends and other couples. He stopped bringing his sense of humor and joy into his connection with his wife after five years of marriage. Here the courage of bringing that feeling back is needed.
Everyone can understand and feel kindness. Compassion is the potential to listen deeply and show sympathy and understanding to your partner. Couples who are compassionate and kind in their relationship are closer and enjoy more union.
It is easy for couples to plunge into compassion however this doesn’t happen always. So usually people start to take one another for granted and stop treating in ways that show unwanted kindness- an invitation to marriage problems and complications. You don’t need to have luxury in order to be compassionate in your relationship. Don’t act foolish and be serious in your relationship if you want to lead a peaceful life.
It is tough to love someone who you don’t like. You may be attracted to one for sometime however when it is about living the whole life with someone, compassion and respect are essential. These both factors are the cornerstone of every peaceful relationship. It gives you an independence to enjoy your individuality without any restriction, and trust and love someone without any limitation. Compassion is crucial for healing the emotional wounds and overcome the anxiety when conflictions occur in a relationship. If you do not love your partner or respect him/ her, you cannot compromise in any case and find a way to move together.
Be a friend
Every friend shows a world in us, the things that were certainly not out before their entry. A couple that is happy for a long time and is satisfied in their relationship intimacy, one thing is definite among them. They are supreme friends and they like each other. Normally, couples ignore to nourish their relationship and the penalty of this overlook is countable. Friends usually find similar interests and enjoy activities together.
If you become friendly with your partner, your relationship works much better. Being friendly can ease the bumps we feel sometimes. Happiness goes a long way to build everlasting relationships. Simply no one wants to be a mourner. Keeping your friend line on allows you to have people who look for long lasting and beneficial relationship with you. So be happy and smile always, use kind words for others and treat people in a great way of friendliness, in this way you will see improvement in your relationship with these key things in a relationship.
Self – Description
Does your partner make conscious efforts to spend quality time with you? While there are essential factors that are responsible for a healthy relationship, following these fundamentals also helps you make your relationship vibrant and strong over the time. Give attention to the areas of strength in your relationship and also to those that need your efforts. Don’t wait too long to let the problems arrive in your marriage.
Everyone of us wants to settle down with the right person but what happens that makes this beautiful relationship come to an end. The fundamentals are essential that make your love last.
Trust is a key to a long lasting relationship. Without it, a relationship is never meaningful. Ask yourself, do you trust your partner? Is your partner trust-able? Can he/she become the wall in your life?
Some people consider trust is a complicated matter. Few people trust easily while few find it difficult to trust on others. Check out how trustworthy is your partner by digging out his/her background. Don’t just consider the promises. Find out their overall record of trustworthiness.
Trust strengthens the relationship. There is no place for an over-intense and jealous spouse. Spending a lot of time thinking about how you spend your minutes is foolishness and insane. On the other hand, if it is tough for you to see your partner with your friends you will both regret it. Doubts give rise to disagreement. Without trust, a relationship is nothing because a relationship without faith is not a relationship.
How do you behave in your relationship?
Do you act differently with different friends? You may be closer to one or more than others. Perhaps you act calmly with few while fight with others. Friends may bring out different personalities in you.
Just like a friend takes out a different side of you, your partner is also the same. Ask yourself the questions- Do you act nicely when you are with your spouse? Do you behave the worst in front of your partner? Or both? In these cases, what does bring out a specific personality of you? Basically, do you like to be in this relationship? Give your answers honestly to determine how healthy is your relationship made?
It is essential to live complementary lives. If you are living a harmonious life, it doesn’t mean that you need to eat in a single plate and wear matching dresses. In fact it means to support each other to grow and develop in your own way.
A healthy appreciation of your differences means you’ll experience things through one another that you would never have been exposed to otherwise. This process of discovery, learning and fun leads to richer, more rewarding life experiences and a whole lot of shared memories.
Divorce happens when one or both sides in a relationship show contempt. It is usually described as negative statements, criticism or disdain the significance of a person. In communication surveys, it is stated as reacting badly with a person whilst softly with a problem. A perfect communicator knows how to handle a person and problem separately. Be soft with a person and hard on a problem. A wrong speaker does just the opposite; he/she eventually attacks the person while ignoring the problem.
How does your partner communicate with you? Does his/her communication encourage you or let you down? How do you communicate with your partner? If there is inadequate communication among you both, good news is that as long as you and your partner wish to adopt the improvements use them immediately.
How expert are you in handling confliction in relationship?
If a couple is unable to handle the confliction, they engage in fight, flight or freeze behavior. Disputes occur among them but they ignore the issues by pointing each other for the problem. After several arguments seeing that this is going endless, they freeze emotionally and stop it. A person who is frozen, goes out and stops caring from heart.
On the other hand, contended couples always have the ability to resolve their issues and handle them. They prefer to handle the problems instead commenting on each other. Even in case of disagreement, they find ways to stay close at some time. After resolving the problem, they forgive and move on. Moreover, happy couples continuously learn and grow their intimacy skills and handle difficulties. In this way, their relationship improves with time.
In many studies, it is found that disagreements over finances are the major reasons that couples need to contact marriage counselors and the main reason of divorce. The difference in financial values is seen in the early stages of a relationship. For instance, who pays for the first date then who will pay for the second and then third date? Does your partner like your valuable but non-monetary gift? Does your habit of not buying her a gift disappoint her? Is your spouse satisfied with what you own or is there a gradual desire to possess more? Do you both handle financial conditions together?
Making a suitable financial plan with your spouse, focusing on money dissatisfaction, discussing the differences to resolve them and getting financial counseling to overcome the problems to maintain the financial stability.
Team work for future planning
A feeling of coupling is crucial for closeness and adequate teamwork is essential in meeting the needs to live life peacefully. You will see yourself dining with this person daily for the rest of your life. If you don’t want to see yourself discussing the things together for years- walk away. Are you surprised about how that couple managed to stay together for decades? What is the secret they are following? What you need to do to have a healthy long term relationship? Following are the factors that should be in your priority list to lead a successful relationship:
Many newlywed couples are not only aware of the successful relationship factors in fact but they certainly don’t know the way to fight as well. Minor things may lead to big fights with recalling past problems and unrecoverable offences. Many couples do this. With the development of a relationship, it is essential to resolve your issues before the end of the day. So that your next day begins fresh.
Occurrence of fights and some disagreements are unavoidable. When you talk about your fights to resolve them, it may take long but, it is certain that the other day morning will not bring up the past issues. It will create an example for your kids that their parents never fight.
Arguments occur in every relationship, the crucial thing is that in which way you are caught in these arguments and how you withstand this test. If you know to do a mannered fight, it will nourish your relationship.
If you are the one to call names, shout, scream, use threatening words, call others for their suggestion, digging out the past just for the purpose to hurt your partner then this is not a mannered fight. Prevent to behave specifically in your relationship if you want to make it healthy.
Mannered fight includes taking time to calm down before talking about the issues with your loved one. It involves appropriate communication, desire to compromise and discussing the matter of confliction without being physical violent or running out. Hold the hand of your beloved when you are discussing a confliction.
Share and listen to the problems
Humans always need someone next to them at sometime. You need your partner to listen to your problems and make you feel comfortable in your hard times. A successful relationship is certainly like a saving account where you need to keep more credits than debits. For a happy marriage, it is essential to maintain 5:1 ratio of positive over negative statements. So watch your words before you find something inappropriate to say to your spouse. For saying any negative thing, make sure to say five positive things to keep the situations under control.
Communication is essential; we should understand that we perceive the world in a different way and this understanding as a guide to our communication with others. Marriage and relationship troubles are usually resulted by inadequate communication with others. You don’t need to talk smartly, just make a simple conversation about the things between you two. Does your partner need something from you and vice versa. When a couple doesn’t talk sufficiently or does not talk at all the times, they are no longer soul mates and find others to meet their needs at the end.
Happy couples are those who have the potential to stand together to face challenges. The real test of coupling is if two partners show back to each other in their tough times. Ask yourself- do different conditions and crisis bring you two together or separate? In tough conditions, do you two act mature or childish? Do you both handle bad times together or enjoy good times? People who communicate properly and endure troubles together, are strongly bonded.
Don’t use words like always and never. For example, don’t say to your partner- you are always late, you never care for me. Instead you can say, You can manage to call if you are coming home late or I was worried when you didn’t come home on time. It is essential that we watch our words before expressing our thoughts to see if they are right and fair. While making compromises, if your expectations are not met, then you should consider outside help.
Honest communication is the key of any good relationship. Communication is very important because it is the way that allows you to discuss what is inside you and to associate with your partner. Communication is definitely amazing. A person can tell his feeling to another person through communication. It gives a nice experience. And for a healthy relationship, it is essential to communicate, to aware your partner about your thoughts and feelings. It helps in making strong connection. The core principle of communication is to build the relationship and strengthen it. If we simply communicate, we can proceed, if we communicate smartly, we can do miracles.
Do you want to know about your compatibility with your important one other? Check for – physical, emotional, mental, and shared activates.
Use must, should or could for the appropriate dimension as applied in your love relationship. After giving your answers, ask the same to your spouse. Getting more must- must and must- should answers show more chances of your compatibility with your partner. As the situations are never static, you may see various dimensions of compatibility. Understanding the differences and accepting each other’s priorities are important to help you both ensure the long term relationship.
If your partner’s thoughts do not match with you, get some courage to walk away. Everyone of us have our own ideas to make love, humor and be selfless. The thing is that each of us needs to feel that our spouse fully accepts us and loves us and likes to encourage us to meet our dreams and achieve goals of life. We grow and change with time but if obstacles like games, sexual requirements or ethics occur, they risk your relationship.
It is essential to determine your compatibility with your partner such as in means of core values and desires. If you like to have kids but your sweetheart doesn’t have any interest in children; you should find this out in an early stage. If you want to live in the country but your beloved likes to live in the village, none of you is ready to change, this match is definitely not recommended. If you firmly believe in eternal honesty but your beloved thinks that lying sometimes is ok, make sure you walk away.
It is imperative to clear the major disputes and recognize if your beliefs and values and dislikes are totally different that cannot be worked out. Finding the warning signs and still entering into a relationship thinking that you will handle it later, is surely like damaging your life.
Before making a relationship, it is essential to identify these factors to know if they can be worked or not. It is certainly about finding what do you want in your relationship.
Other compatibility factors to check are – raising kids, sex, sexual problems, work, spending time, integrity, friendship, promise, faith, material use, anger level, ways to handle temper, and above of all do you want a long lasting relationship.
The essential journey you may start in life is meeting people halfway. Most of couples who couldn’t find anything than marriage counseling have lost their capacity to compromise. Many times the things become complicated and tough in a relationship. Couples who know the way to get through hard patches and still are enjoying unions know how to compromise. A competitive attitude is an enemy to compromise. Perform give and take and learn to meet the needs of each other.
To flourish your marriage relationship, get close to your partner and tell him/ her about who you are and how you feel about it. When you show your commitment towards your partner that you are trying to become an effective communicator who is willing to compromise, the basis for a deep connection has already been set. Find what it makes your partner feel close to you and talk about what you need to feel close to him or her. All roads to connection and emotional closeness are not same, so be aware of the differences.
Compromise has certainly a major contribution as a step to a successful relationship. If you like something and your beloved likes something else, both of you will reap the benefit in your relationship by meeting the needs of each other. It is imperative to ask yourself, can you compromise on this?
Your relationship may grow or abandon depending on your choice of compromises. If you communicate significantly and effectively, it enables you to find the advantageous solutions to your differences. Don’t forget to ask yourself that is it very important to be correct or happy? In few cases, try to let your need to go to your beloved who is correct. Are you ready to compromise on an issue? If your answer is no, it can be easier to find a way to compromise in that situation.
Show your love
Don’t overestimate the thinking of your spouse, she may not know about how much you love her. So try to say I love you and I care you as much as possible. You or your partner may need to make few sacrifices for the sake of family. If you are living a very busy life, try to take little moments like break times to dedicate to each other. Flirt with your spouse. Long term love makes you incredibly comfortable in it. Keep the spark active that brought you together and understand that marriage is a one way street where you both need to move together.
It is proven in studies that couples that show their love towards each other are happier and more satisfied. Specifically suitable is when the love is shown in a positive manner to your beloved in the middle of disputes. It is much easier to say than to do however it is definitely worth to make such effort for a successful relationship.
Find out what you like in each other. Getting your partner doing things the you love, let them be aware how much you love those things. Take time in a day to share your love with your partner and you will realize that you discover more to love. Remember the thing that attracted you towards your beloved and talk about it, you will find it affectionate, warm, enjoyable and attractive. When you feel the lack of love, try something for your partner. A little part of gratitude does excellently. Show gratitude in every possible way like if you are watching your partner doing something very lovely, just tell him/her.
This all is based on how you define love. Many people think that love is a feeling but it is not completely true. In reality, the concept of like is actually about feelings. If you say that you like someone, you are telling about your feeling. But saying that you are in love with a person, you are certainly not talking about your feeling. Love is more intense and deeper than feeling. It is a commitment we make to treat our beloved right and respectably.